“He had difficulties entering into other relationships after the incident” – No kidding.

This one truly brings tears to my eyes. A Canadian court has been hearing a case involving a woman, Andrée René, who set fire to her boyfriend’s penis. The victim suffered third-degree burns and presumably a scorched ego for the rest of his life. Painfully, the victim’s lawyers’ contentions included a (possibly) euphemistic description of the aftereffects of the attack: ‘He had difficulties ‘entering’ into other ‘relationships’ after the incident’. I bet he did.

The upshot: Andrée René was sentenced to 4 years imprisonment, must undergo psychological assessment and prohibited from owning guns or combustible materials for 10 years after her release. It is said that René ‘harbours deep anger towards men’. And all associated appendages, it seems.