Annoying office habits (including those of lawyers)

TV Channel, Dave, recently commissioned research into office workers’ most irksome habits.

Here are some of my favourites (with their catchy names):

Social Notworking – playing around on Facebook and Twitter to avoid doing work.

Déjà Brew – offering to make someone a cup of tea when you know for a fact they’ve just had one in the hope they will decline. 
Lawyers tend to be very guilty of this in my opinion.

Drainstorm – a poorly organised workshop, where everyone leaves feeling deflated.  Doesn’t that describe virtually every office meeting?

Procaffeinating – making coffee or tea to delay getting on with real work.

Tupperwarfare – fighting for space in the office fridge. 
Given the state of most workplace fridges, this ventures dangerously close to germ warfare!

Human Desourcing – sacking people. 
Hah fricking hah.

Jambivalence – ignoring a printer blockage in the hope that someone else will fix it.  Isn’t that what IT are there for?

Google Naps – using Google to work out what time colleagues in the US will be sleeping, to avoid them replying to emails.

Stock Home Syndrome – pinching stuff from the office.
Nicking paper doesn’t count of course!

Shout-of-office – Someone who wants every single person in the building to know they are off on holiday.
All those guilty of this should be shot on sight!