Apparently it’s that time of year again.
[It’s] when panic reigns in households inhabited by 17- and 18-year-olds across the country. Schoolbags are thrown across kitchens; bedroom doors are slammed; homework left undone and tantrums even more frequent than usual.
January 15 marks UCAS deadline day, and the beginning of the end of many a school career.
Oddly enough, I don’t remember UCAS applications being that much of a ballache for me. But I’m sure it was.
My only distinct memory of the process (some 12 years ago now), was the pain experienced by one of my peers who’d made the mother of all cock-ups filling out her hand-written application form. She’d spent days finalising that thing, only to be informed by our form tutor that she’d spelt the college’s address incorrectly and she’d have to start afresh.
To describe her reaction as a meltdown doesn’t even come close.
Anyway, the Telegraph have compiled some application form howlers which are well worth a giggle.
Here are some of my favourites.
"Having been head of my form and captain of the debating club, I have grate communication skills."
Of course you do.
"'Eighty per cent of success is showing up.' I feel this attitude correctly demonstrates my passion for Literature where, indeed, you only have to 'turn up' and read the books and to fully understand the topic. I was form captain in Year 7, indicating my sense of responsibility. I enjoyed the challenge of my duties, which included fetching the register and making people sign up for sports days. Also, this year I was voted head girl because I made the most hilarious speech ever. This demonstrates my skill at creative and persuasive writing."
I wouldn’t be too sure of that.
"Thanks for considering my application and I hope I will here from you soon."
Disgusting.
"I am hoping to pass my driving test so I can drive to -insert uni name here- everyday!"
All universities like to feel special.
"Economics is a diverse subject, as economics can be related to anything, especially during economic crisis, which forces to think economically, whereas maths has been long one of my favourite subjects, as mathematics can be applied everywhere, moreover, mathematics is useful in everyday life."
There’s nothing like reading your work through, is there?
"I have a black belt in karate and enjoy marital arts."
Is that a typo or a euphemism?
I’m sure that over the years, a fair few budding lawyers have described their deep interest in ‘pubic law’ (rather than the far less embarrassing ‘public law’).
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