All spooked-out

With the 31^st October comes the annual ‘bracing oneself for pesky trick-or-treaters’.

Last year, as it turned out, we were worrying unnecessarily; not a single person knocked, rung the bell or 'put a window in'. Nor were we firebombed, egged or desecrated by graffiti . This year though I’ve taken the additional safety measures of electrifying the intercom button, strategically placing man-traps around the porch and lower windows as well as rigging the trusty ‘bucket of cold water’ trick over the first floor window.

So while my girlfriend and I sit around armed and ready, poised to exact revenge on any trick-or-treaters, we can console ourselves with the helpful poster published by the Devon and Cornwall police, to which I made a small modification. The idea being, of course, to conspicuously display this poster in your property in the hope it deters the spooked-up little beggars. Is it just me, or is this the ultimate ‘kick me’ sticker? Nothing quite says, “firebomb me – go on – light that firework and poke it through” quite as much as a ‘Sorry, no trick, no treat, no thanks’ sign.

Thanks for the help, PC Plod.

Wanted: £8-an-hour 'webcam performers' – other perks included

From: the Daily Mail 27/10/07

A Jobcentre has provoked outrage after it was found to be advertising for women to strip for web cams on Internet sex sites for £8 an hour.

According to the advertisement, the role involves "explicit dialogue" and "performing for clients' or customers' fantasies".

Astonishingly, the Department for Work and Pensions insisted that it is legally obliged to carry the advertisements.

Hmm, nice work – if you can get it. Better than the LPC at any rate.

Wake up to your next fire calm and refreshed

Being always on the lookout for new funky gadget ideas, this quirky little number caught my eye. The Peaceful progression smoke alarm sure looks a great idea. But what’s the snooze function all about? Presumably for those times when you wake up and find your bedroom full of smoke but don’t consider it pressing enough to drag your lazy arse out of bed and investigate. For when you adopt a ‘wait-n-see’ policy I suppose.

Great stuff.

Play it again, Mr Kwik-fit man

From Out Law News 09/10/2007

The Kwik-Fit garage chain is being taken to court accused of violating musical copyright. Royalties agency the Performing Rights Society (PRS) is suing the company because of the volume at which mechanics play the radio while working.

The PRS says that because mechanics play their music loudly enough to be heard by colleagues and customers, it constitutes a 'performance' of the music which triggers royalty payments to artists through it.

Oh boy. Aren’t the record companies greedy enough already!?! And in the majority of cases, does listening to trashy music being played on a greasy, grubby radio with tinny-sounding speakers bring anyone pleasure whilst their tyres are being changed? Shouldn’t the customers be compensated for such an affliction rather than chasing the mechanic’s bosses for royalty payments? Just a thought.