Brexit agreement proof-reading balls-up

Tee hee. This is a good one.

Brexit deal mentions Netscape browser and Mozilla Mail - BBC News:

References to decades-old computer software are included in the new Brexit agreement, including a description of Netscape Communicator and Mozilla Mail as being "modern" services.

Experts believe officials must have copied and pasted chunks of text from old legislation into the document.

The references are on page 921 of the trade deal, in a section on encryption technology.

It also recommends using systems that are now vulnerable to cyber-attacks.

The text cites "modern e-mail software packages including Outlook, Mozilla Mail as well as Netscape Communicator 4.x."

The latter two are now defunct - the last major release of Netscape Communicator was in 1997.

I think all solicitors have experienced that sinking feeling when they find they've left something in an agreement that really should have been removed from the precedent on which it was based. The name of a previous client is a classic or the product/service that that previous client provided. Instances of irrelevant technical crap being left buried in a schedule isn't unheard of either.

But this stuff happens; it's not the end of the world. And it's proven that someone's reading the Brexit agreement at least.

I remember Netscape Navigator fondly. On my first PC, back in 1999, I found it to be much more reliable than the pesky installation of Internet Explorer 4 with which I had to grapple. As I recall, it would often freeze my entire system without warning, forcing me to switch it off at the wall.  

It was eventually fixed after I completely corrupted that computer in late December that year — apparently, uninstalling software wasn’t as straightforward as manually deleting the programme files, sigh — and it necessitated a mercy dash to computer man extraordinaire ‘Slim Steve’.

Once Steve finally got round to it some days after the drop-off, he reinstalled Windows for me and generally saved the day, allowing me to get my teenage kicks through the internet once more. 

Thanks again, Steve, wherever you are now.

Why have Microsoft removed numbered comments from Word 2013?

On the whole, I’m quite fan of the latest version of Microsoft Office – Office 365. There are some features which are genuinely useful and which represent a significant improvement to those found in earlier versions of office.

One such feature is the ‘Simple Markup’ view in tracked changes. This can make navigating a document littered with countless tracked changes much easier and is a nice halfway house between the previous view options of essentially all or nothing.

Sometimes, though, Microsoft makes crazy retrogressive steps by removing useful functionality. I don’t know whether this is in a bid to simplify a complicated product, that they’ve got sick of a particular bit of code or whether it stems from some misguided focus group reporting it should be removed on the grounds of obsolescence.

A prime example of this is the removal of self-numbering comment balloons from Word 2013. Oh yes. With previous versions of Word, inserting a comment balloon would automatically prefix it with the author’s initials, followed by a number (starting, funnily enough, at one).

^{How things used to be…}

In the latest version of Word, however, only the author’s name appears.  That makes referring to specific comments made by the same author rather tricky.

For lawyers, self-numbering comments were really useful and saved heaps of time when referring back to specific comments within a document. Yes, it’s true that you can use the numbering function to insert numbers manually, but it’s a poor substitute.  And having to waste time adding the numbers manually really grates on me.

So, please, Microsoft… bring back self-numbering comments to Word.

Pretty please….?

Or should I dust off that copy of WordPerfect again?

The Windows Store is unspeakably bad

Oh – and it’s also riddled with rogue apps.

All and sundry in the tech world have reported that Microsoft is finally doing the honourable thing and having a clean out of their much maligned Windows Store.

Paul Thurrott picks up the story in his inimitable style as part of this week’s WinInfo Short Takes:

Microsoft finally cracks down on deceptive Windows Store apps

Microsoft[…] [has a] policy of "store stuffing," in which for four years now it has approved virtually any app a developer—professional or otherwise—has thrown at the Windows Phone Store or Windows Store, resulting in mountains of crap. […] Microsoft is promoting these stores as safe, safer than downloading desktop applications from unknown sources on the web. But when the supposedly curated Microsoft stores include bogus and even scam apps of all kinds, why would anyone trust these stores, or trust Microsoft when it says it's going to fix things now? Microsoft. This started happening FOUR YEARS AGO. Shame on you.

That’s a good point well made and all that, but it’s kind of assuming that there are at least some decent apps in the Windows Store to begin with. And I’m not sure there are.

I appreciate I might be biased here. I’ve realised for a while now that I’m an old school PC user who will be forever tied to the Windows desktop and I’m proud to eschew modern style (read: Fisher Price) apps that treat you like a five year old in favour of the more conventional, full-featured applications.

I’ve used a Surface 2 for eight months or so now. It’s ‘all-right-to-quite-good’ (yes, that is an adjective) for watching stuff while commuting, comes with a full version of Microsoft Office and, if you pay extra, a physical keyboard which doubles up as a protective cover – perfect for getting that occasional bit of work done when travelling home. (Actually, the cover bit is absolute crap; unless you’re happy to let that thing get battered to death, you’re going to need a dedicated cover or sleeve.)

Actually, while I’m in the mood for engaging in full and frank disclosure, I might as well admit that whenever I have my laptop with me on the train, I’ll always crack that out to get work done, rather than trying to cope with the rather cramped Surface 2 Typecover keyboard.

But I digress.

One thing that has always shocked me with the Surface (and Windows 8 generally) is just how spectacularly full of crap the Windows Store is. Like all Surface users, I inevitably tinkered with the Fresh Paint app on a couple of occasions in the early days, thought ‘well, that’s something I suppose, but I’m not much of an artist’ and then never opened it up again.

I’ve gone back and looked at the Windows Store quite frequently over the last few months, but I’ve never found any remotely tempting apps (free or otherwise) lurking in there. Ultimately, I guess I’d much rather use services through a web browser than downloading a one-trick-pony app.

Even worse, when you need to find something specific in the Windows Store, say a half decent media player which doesn’t screw you over with excessive ads, needless functionality or require a permanent internet connection, you’re out of luck.

(I had to go through this painful experience recently when Microsoft updated their ‘Metro’ Video app such that it will only now play content if you’re connected to the internet. That’s a bit of a pisser when you’re stuck on the train and rely on your Surface to watch videos. After trying a bizarre mixture of media player apps from the Windows Store, which ranged between ridiculous and unusable, I’m using the built-in ‘Photos’ app to play movies now.)

Here’s the clincher. When I got my Surface, it came with a £25 voucher from Microsoft which I could spend on paid apps of my choice in the Windows Store. After eight months of nosing around in there and finding nothing, I finally got sick of seeing that damn voucher kicking about, so I tossed it out with the recycling – unopened and unredeemed.

I think that tells you all you need to know.

Why Touchscreen Tech isn’t all that

New tech really doesn’t grab me

I’ve been musing over the world’s obsession with small-form-factor technology recently - particularly touchscreen devices - and struggling to understand why I haven’t been swept along with it. The simple fact is, while owning smartphones and tablets, I don’t particularly like using them and feel that the scope of their usefulness is an awful lot less than most other people seem to think. I’m really curious why that is.

I have two smartphones kicking around (one personal – one work) and I try to avoid using either wherever possible. Quite often, a week will go by where I’ve not touched them. One of them stays on my desk at home (go figure) and the other remains secreted in my bag. I might check it during the week or I might not. I figure people can either email me or call the office. Quite often they do both. Bastards.

I feel slightly warmer over tablets. But only slightly. I have a first-gen Nexus 7 and a Surface 2 with a typecover. As I have to grapple with a significant commute to work four times a week, I’ve found tablets to be an excellent way to take entertainment with me while not significantly weighing me down.

But my use of tablets stops there. I barely ever touched (ahem) my Nexus 7 when I wasn’t commuting and, despite going overboard trying to embrace my Surface 2 in the early months of this year, I finally admitted defeat a while ago and acknowledged that if the option is available, I’d much rather use a regular PC every time.

I’ve found that the Surface 2, with a typecover, gives you the option to type on something which vaguely resembles a physical keyboard (as opposed to the on-board touchy-feely keyboards which, for me, are about as painful in use as a tin-tack in a jockstrap). But the typecover is a bit cramped, a bit prone to bending and the semi-furry surface of the touchpad section really doesn’t make for a dazzling experience. I’ve tried marking up draft contracts with it and doing other work ‘stuff’ which has proven fine in a cramped-this-isn’t-ideal-but-I’m-coping kind of way. But technology is meant to make things easier, not harder, so why struggle?

The full extent of my frustration with touchscreens hit me the other day while on a short train journey. I received a personal email on my phone (one of the few occasions I had it with me) and wanted to acknowledge it quickly with a few words in response. I started writing, only to be struck by just how Goddamn painful it was. I quickly gave up, figuring I would far rather wait and type it on a proper keyboard once I got home.

I think that tells you everything you need to know.

Lately I’ve been increasingly pondering as to why I find touch technology so disappointing. I haven’t come up with an answer. What I do know is that I find the novelty of touchscreen devices wears off awfully quickly. To me, they’re gimmicky and far nicer as a concept than in real-world use. I’m always amused by the dogged business commuters you find on trains who are hell-bent on proving they can ‘get work done’ on an iPad. I’m sure that, deep down, they all know they’re kidding themselves. And, please, ladies – the incessant tap of long nails typing on a touchscreen display is hugely annoying. You’d be far better getting your laptop out. Your manicurist might thank you for it too.

And just to be clear, I’m not on some kind of anti-technology vendetta here in which I pan everything with a microchip or circuit board. I use regular PCs more than ever – and I’ve virtually finished my personal SSD upgrade ‘programme’ in which I whack an SSD in any device I own that’ll take one. As I’ve often said, the biggest problem with SDDs is they make going back to a regular hard disk so damn painful.

On refection, I suppose my issue with touchscreen tech is a simple one – their limitations. The world seems to be on an endless hunt to find the everything-in-one device. I don’t think it exists (or ever will – at least in the near future). Let’s stop pretending these touchscreen mobile devices are something they aren’t. They’re well suited to consuming content – reading, watching movies and all the rest. But as soon as the need arises for even a little bit of typing (OK, I’ll say it – content creation), I think they’re utterly hopeless.

Is it me? Is anybody else struck by the severe limitations of touchscreen tech? Or am I needlessly stuck in the 1990s with my mouse and keyboard?

I ask because everyone else it seems – lawyers included – seem to be as happy as pigs in the smelly stuff to be tapping away on touchscreens. In a business context, I really don’t get that - touch technology on regular desktops and laptops strikes me as frankly ridiculous. It’s more than just gimmicky – it gets in the way of getting work done. Please tell me that touchscreen monitors won’t be making a mainstream appearance in legal practice anytime soon. Please tell me that! The day we start to create documents by reaching out with our grubby mitts and fumbling all over a touch-sensitive desktop display, is the day I’ll retire.

And I’ve got to do a bit more topping up of my pension before we’re at that point, thank you.

Email sins revisited

Over time, it seems that email is abused more and more.  Yet for all of the criticisms concerning its use and the promise that some new wave of social media for the corporate world will kill email off for good, it’s more widely used than ever.

Email, like all forms of communication, has evolved.  It’s an on-going process.  It’s also true to say that email should be used in different ways depending on the circumstances.  When it comes to sending email, there is no one-size-fits-all.

Where email is used in a business or professional context, there are a few hard and fast rules which always apply. The Telegraph have picked up on a few of these (and, in my view, wrongly listed others). 

Here’s my take on their list of ‘seven deadly emails sins’.

1. Ping pong - constant emails back and forth
Yes, absolutely.  Taking time out to think properly about the situation and your response is always a good idea and amounts to time well spent.  Firing back an immediate, ill-thought-out reply can often result in tears (or at least a painful and protracted email thread).  Sometimes, picking up the phone and talking with the recipient beats email hands down, too.

2. Emailing out of hours 
Well, I guess it’s a question of extent.  Sometimes, emails need to be sent outside of regular work hours and it seems silly to wait until the next morning for the sake of adhering to policy.  But managing that ever shrinking divide between work and leisure is an on-going battle we all grapple with.  Knowing when to leave your work email unread is a key part of that.

3. Emailing while in company
As someone with virtually no multi-tasking skills at all, I find it incredibly irritating when I’m in the presence of someone I’m speaking to, who, as well as (sort of) participating in the conversation with me, is tapping out a response on their phone.  Maybe it’s jealousy?  Still, I’m a big believer that focussing on one thing at a time can often prove more productive in the long run.

4. Ignoring emails completely
On the whole, I’d agree.  Very occasionally, though, you might receive the an absolute howler which simply shouldn’t be dignified with a response.

5. Requesting read receipts
In some situations, my firm insists that read receipts are used on mail that we send.  Personally, I think they’re an annoyance and a complete waste of time.  I invariably configure my mail clients to ignore all requests for read receipts.  I’d recommend that you do likewise.  ;-)

6. Responding immediately to an email alert
I might have a view on this – if I knew what it meant.  Any ideas?

7. Automated replies and rules
Well, email rules, as I understand them, benefit the recipient by helping to automatically organise emails as they’re received.  (That’s true, at least, when used sensibly.)  Automated replies can be useful for both sender and recipient (assuming they’re configured correctly and the message provides genuinely helpful content – such as when the person will return to work, or who to contact in the meantime). 
Quite frankly, they’re definitely useful and have no place on this list.

I’d also like to throw in the utter futility of email footer messages ‘reminding’ the recipient not to print.  Compared to most of my colleagues, I’m very measured in the documents I choose to print. That said, I don’t appreciate being incessantly nagged at by green-coloured messages intended to guilt trip me into thinking I’m not entitled to use my printer. 

Businesses should stop kidding themselves that pieces of stupidity such as this make a meaningful difference to the environment – an environment, let’s not forget, that’s being systematically destroyed by humankind in a whole host of ways.  Why don’t we try and do something that will really make a difference and do it before it’s too late?

Just a thought.

Whilst, I’m on my hobby horse, I may as well bring something else up – commas.  I don’t know what the humble comma has done to apparently offend so many people, but I’ve noticed that shunning it when writing emails has suddenly become de rigueur.  It’s something law firms in particular are very guilty of.  I understand that the primary goal for written communication is to articulate the intended message as clearly as possible.  Equally, I fully appreciate that many businesses (law firms included) adhere to the plain English whatjamacallit.  Nevertheless, there is absolutely no need for a business to insult its customers, clients or anybody else it sends emails to by assuming that the inclusion of a few commas would be too much for the readers’ underdeveloped brains to cope with, thereby rendering the message unintelligible. 

Microsoft to re-brand SkyDrive after Sky victory

From Windows IT Pro (written by Paul Thurrott) 01/08/13:

Microsoft confirmed on Wednesday that it will not fight a July ruling by the England and Wales High Court in which it was found to have infringed on British Sky Broadcasting (BSkyB) trademarks for the term “Sky.” As a result, Microsoft has agreed to rebrand its SkyDrive cloud storage service with a new, as yet-unknown name.

Under the settlement, Microsoft can continue to use the SkyDrive name for a reasonable period of time while it implements a new brand.

BSkyB is a UK-based satellite broadcaster, Internet provider and telephone services firm. It does not make or sell any cloud-based storage services, nor is it clear how the firm could have obtained multiple trademarks for a term as general as “sky.”

Oh, Paul.  Where do we begin?

Perhaps it would be helpful to remind ourselves of the basic criteria a mark must meet to be capable of being registered as a trademark under English law.

Providing the mark meets the basic requirements under the Trade Marks Act 1994 (principally that the mark is distinctive - or capable of distinguishing - one proprietor’s goods or services from another’s and that the mark is capable of being represented graphically), there’s nothing stopping an application being made to register the mark in relation to several categories or ‘classes’ as they’re known.

Funnily enough, ‘cloud-based storage services’ isn’t a class per se. As Paul himself might say, “Go figure”.

Amongst others, the word “Sky” is registered in 2 classes for services (as distinct from goods) - class 38 and class 42.

Class 38 includes computer aided transmission of messages and images and, separately, telecommunications information. Class 42 includes the rental of computer software and home computing services generally.

In its July ruling, the UK court noted that a survey of consumer found that some people did indeed assume that SkyDrive was a BSkyB brand and that such people “should not be regarded as especially unobservant or lacking in ‘circumspectness’.”

Another key point is that “Sky” isn’t just a trademark of BSkyB – it’s their trading name.

On reflection, then, it’s not tough to see why Microsoft’s use of the word “Skydrive” infringed Sky’s trademark.

So why did Paul miss this?

It took just a couple of minutes to look up on the trademark register exactly what classes Sky have registered marks in and compare that to the list of classes available for services.

On top of that, it would have taken a matter of seconds to identify that “Sky” was the trading name of BSkyB.

On the Windows Weekly podcast, Paul often bemoans slipshod and lazy bloggers who fail to do their homework but then have the audacity to sully the internet with their inferior writing. He’s certainly got a point (particularly in the tech sphere) but the record has worn rather thin. Following this latest blooper, maybe it’s time Paul became a little less critical of others and a bit more self-reflective.

Just a thought.

Porn vs Real Life

There has been a lot of debate in recent months about how best to tackle the problems caused by the explosion of pornography in society brought about by the internet.

Dave, over at Number 10, spoke just the other week about plans to combat the “corroding influence of pornography on childhood” by requiring customers to specifically opt-in if they want to continue to have access to pornography via their ISP.

Oh, he also mentioned that it had finally dawned on the government to close that gaping loophole and bring depictions of rape within the provisions of extreme pornography. You know – 5 years too late and all that, but still.

Dave’s speech, of course, preceded the strategy paper that DCMS published yesterday. This so-called ‘strategy paper’ is in place of the White Paper that should have been released long before now outlining the anticipated Communications Bill. I suppose it’s nice that the DCMS finally got round to publishing something (don’t forget – the Green Paper was scrapped too) but it’s hard to ignore the fact that the concept of a new Communications Act is running embarrassingly out of steam.

Humph - and some say DCMS is a ‘mickey mouse’ department which hasn’t got the ‘teeth’ for matters as large and important as communications. I wonder why.

Anyway, returning to the damage that pornography has wrought on young people’s attitudes to sex, most people seem to be in agreement that better sex education and more open and transparent conversations about porn and sex are what are needed to provide kids with a reality check about what to really expect from sex.

Well, help is at hand. This extremely funny video (complete with statistics) uses food in a very creative way to shed light on just how divorced from reality the word of porn really is.

A word of warning: you’ll never look at a banana tip dipped in chocolate spread in quite the same way ever again.

Porn Sex vs Real Sex (as depicted with food).

Digg Reader: spoke too soon

After posting my review (of sorts) last week, my experience with Digg Reader took a turn for the worse.

At some point before the weekend, it stopped showing the number of unread items next to each subscription and then failed to show new content reliably enough to be usable.

Put simply, it stopped doing what I needed it to do.

I understand it’s a work in progress and there are developments coming, but an RSS reader needs to get the basics right from day one.

And for now, Digg Reader fails miserably on that front.

For the time being, I’ve switched to ‘The Old Reader’ which is much uglier than Digg Reader and its performance isn’t quite so snappy. Still, it offers all the functionality I need and that’s the main thing.

I’ll keep an eye on Digg Reader’s progress in the coming weeks, but they need to get the basics fixed quickly for this thing to stand any chance of surviving now it’s out in the wild.

Young Lawyer … anything but Inspiration

I love hate to nit-pick but, you know, Young Lawyer should be setting an example and trying to encourage attention to detail – not making copywriting faux pas.

I’m sure you can imagine my disappointment, dear reader, when the following email plopped into my inbox on Friday afternoon explaining how by ‘liking’ Young Lawyer’s Facebook pic, I could get my sorry ass in the prize draw for a Dell “Inspiration” laptop.  Ahem.

Besides which, I’m not on Facebook and I don’t like things. 

Why the hell am I still on their mailing list anyway.  Ah, yes, I remember - so I can watch out for incidents like these.

Oh well.  Blame it on the copywriter, I say.  Bit stingy, though; the inspiron models are low-end and anything but inspiring.

Still, not all Dells are that bad.  My desktop PC is an Dell XPS 630i dating from 2008 and still going like a trooper.  It’s built like a tank and is remains one of my trusty workhorses (an American would add, “knock on wood” here). 
After I upgraded from Vista to Windows 7 in January 2010, the Nvidia driver didn’t support the changeable chassis lights any longer, so I’ve had to leave it on the default ice-blue ever since.  Shame. 

I also had to replace the graphics card this summer after the old SLI config it shipped with melted under the strain of me playing F1 2011 in my balmy office!!.

And yes, before anyone comments, I bet Lewis Hamilton doesn’t have to rely on wedging his pedals in position with a box file behind them.  Still, it works for me.

The Law of Printers

There can be few things more frustrating in life than working with computer printers.  They’re hungry, unpredictable and unreasonable beasts – right from setting up and first use. 

And sod’s law being what it is, the problems always strike in their most severe form when you absolutely need to print that document on a very tight deadline.  I remember as a law student, I had some uncomfortably close shaves involving my old HP Officejet and getting assignments submitted for marking.  They were very  much “do or die” moments.

Wisely, I abandoned inkjet printers two years ago now (and have avoided Epson printers like the plague since my first inkjet in 1999). 

Still, for anyone still suffering with them, I think this picture sums up your likely experience very nicely.  ;-)

Found here.

Happy printing! 

Viewing porn at work

From the Verge 02/08/12:

It's never really a good idea to watch porn while at the office — especially if your job involves mildly important tasks like defending the US from missile attacks. Yet that's exactly what some employees at the Pentagon's Missile Defense Agency have been doing, according to a report from Bloomberg.

Sounds like the staff have been minding some lap rockets of their own during work hours, then.

Last week, MDA Executive Director John James Jr. issued a memo warning employees against using government computers to access pornographic websites, since such behavior could pose potentially serious security risks.

We’ve all surreptitiously checked the internet for something at work which was mildly ‘against the rules’.  But porn? Really? Why would anybody do that while they’re stuck at their desk surrounded by colleagues? Unless their all doing it, you know, like some kind of organised LAN orgy? You never know. Maybe that explains the stain on your colleague’s chair and the reason why they always have screen wipes on their desk? ;-)

(Remember Brandon from the little-known BBC series, Attachments? He used to skateboard naked around the office ((and other things as I remember)) once everyone ((or almost everyone)) had gone home for the day. Dirty boy!)

"Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images," James wrote. "These actions are not only unprofessional, they reflect time taken away from designated duties, are in clear violation of federal and DoD and regulations, consume network resources and can compromise the security of the network though the introduction of malware or malicious code."

Well said that man.

Employment lawyers have long advised that all employers who provide internet access for their staff have an explicit internet usage policy so everyone knows where they stand. Accessing porn at work is an obvious no-no and surely a clear breach of any internet usage policy at work. But beyond that, I’m still more disturbed by the fact that employees think work hours are a ripe opportunity to get down and dirty with their office computers in the first place.

Sun-seeking lawyers (and other office wallahs)

From How to Geek:

Q: It’s finally getting nice and warm out… and I’d really like to work on the terrace at my office. The only problem is that my laptop screen is barely usable in the bright light! Do you have any pointers to help me enjoy some fresh air and sunshine while still getting some work done?

Working outside? Heavens to Betsy! That can’t be allowed - no matter how hot it gets.

Forget all that ‘lawyers think better with a dose of vitamin D’ malarkey. The last thing a firm wants is a claim on its hands for providing inappropriate working conditions for its staff.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I tend to find I’m not that productive working outside anyway.

But, supposing for a second staff are allowed to nip out onto the balcony with their laptops on a summer’s day. What useful guidance does How to Geek provide for working with a laptop out of doors?

The first thing you can do is avoid direct sunlight.

Are you fricking kidding me?!? Direct sunlight was the reason I decamped to the balcony in the first place!! (You know, because like most Brits, I’m determined to make the most of the 3 precious days of summer sunshine we’re allocated each year and if that means giving myself skin cancer into the bargain, so be it).

In addition to the glare on the monitor, direct sun exposure generates a lot of heat and heat is the mortal enemy of computers big and small—laptops struggle enough to stay nice and cool without the sun baking down on them.

Diddums.

Maybe you could get your company to splurge on a simple umbrella and stand for the terrace if there isn’t any natural shade. Often times, even in the shade though, glare is sill [sic] a problem.

If camping out under the umbrella and orienting yourself towards the sun doesn’t help, you could also use some black foam-core to build a simple laptop shade.

Oh, now you’re just being silly. You want me to fashion a laptop shade Blue Peter style?

You know what, I think I’m going to stay at my desk.

RBS/NatWest-gate – incompetent offshore team to blame?

Well, sort of. But let’s not let fine detail get in the way of blog post titles.

From the Register 28/06/12:

Cost-cutting RBS management had halved the team within which the banking group's recent data disaster happened, sources have told The Register. The sacked British employees were replaced by staff in India, and there had been concerns about the quality of the work done in India for a lengthy period prior to last week's catastrophe.

Damn offshoring – it gives me the utter squits.

Mishandling of batch schedule data while backing out of an update to CA-7 batch processing software last week caused the disruption that led to 16.9 million customers at RBS, Natwest and Ulsterbank being frozen out of their accounts for days, and ongoing issues in some cases.

As luck would have it, I closed my RBS account (of nearly 10 years) right at the beginning of last week – right before this fiasco occurred. I’d been lured by Halifax and their attractive switching deal and monthly payment in lieu of interest, and heck, I’m a bit of a comparison site whore.  RBS had been fine, but I felt it was time to show my disdain for the Fred ‘the shred’s antics (better late than never, right?) and I couldn’t cope with the prospect that my local branch’s royal blue facia will soon be replaced with a sickly Santander red.

The chap who dealt with my account closure was very polite, helpful and concerned, questioning that it was nothing RBS had done that had caused me to defect. Oooh – if only he’d known what the following 48 hours would bring!

Still, worth trying for compensation? As Brucie might say: “you’ve got to be in it, to win it.”

“Is it possible to speak to one of your colleagues in the UK please?”

Ahem.

Exploiting aftermarkets – the curse of printer ink

 

From Fool.com 16/03/12: 

At today's prices, HP represents a solid value, driven in part by the value of HP's printing business. Printing is a cash cow, and according to my estimates, its milk accounts for 40% of the value of the company.

No kidding. It’s a bitch of a cow (and my udders are sore!!).

HP is No. 1 in the printing market with 42% market share, which is more than the next two competitors combined. HP uses a razor blade business model: printers are sold at low cost, encouraging frequent upgrades to a wide array of printers with non-standard ink cartridge or toner fittings. HP then generates a recurring stream of revenue from cartridge sales. The economics of HP's printing business are phenomenal. To put it in perspective, printer ink costs more than blood by volume and more than caviar by weight.

I’d far rather fill empty ink cartridges up with blood than pay the odious printer suppliers ridiculous prices. 

The cost of printer ink has always wound me up. Bring back the dot matrix, I say.

Talking of dot matrixes, weren’t they just great? My Citizen Swift 90c (bought sometime in the mid-nineties) used to work like a dream before I sold it and bought an inkjet. Ok, it used to scream like a banshee in use, but printing has never been so cheap. I remember feeling a bit embarrassed submitting GCSE coursework printed on a dot matrix (I wasn’t avant garde enough to go for an inkjet until 6^th form) but it was cheap and printed in colour too.

My first inkjet was an Epson and like most Epson products (in my experience) it was a pile of junk out of the box. It lasted 18 months before it was launched out of a 2nd floor window. The next chapter of my printing adventure came courtesy of an HP Deskjet something-or-other. The build quality was superb (read “heavy”) but it was extremely ink-thirsty and wound up throwing endless hissy fits after just 4 years of moderate use. Heck, it really was a reptile of a thing.

After my foray studying abroad in Sweden, I plumbed for a cheap Canon (a Pixma iP1500) in 2005 to take care of my printing needs while I finished my degree.  Little did I know at the time, I landed myself an absolute gem. Not only was it robust (ok, the build quality was a touch plasticky – but its reliability was as solid as rock), it was quiet in use, lightweight and as cheap as chips to run.

I quickly discovered I could buy compatible ink cartridges at £1 a pop via eBay which worked like a charm and used to last for ages. Combined with Inksaver 2.0, and Tesco value paper, my LLM degree saw me printing anything and everything while still costing me next to nothing. I hate to think of the cost that fellow law students used to pay for ink supplies. Sadly, my faithful old Canon started to cease up and generally wear out in late 2010 when I made the painful decision to decommission it.

In the interim, I’d bought a Canon multifunction machine in 2008 when Amazon had an offer on and Canon were offering a voucher rebate. It ended up costing me 15 quid and I used the ink -- the cartridges are m’chipped and it won’t accept compatibles – until it ran dry and it’s been my scanner ever since. It’s still in regular use (as a scanner) today.

In December 2010, I bought a Samsung Laser (a ML-2525W if anyone’s interested) which turned out to be a superb choice.

The toner cartridge it came with lasted me almost 12 months and I’m hoping to get at least double out of the larger capacity cartridge I fitted subsequently. I’d never have another inkjet again.

Anyhoo, I you enjoyed reading about my printer odyssey, (riveting, wasn’t it?). I guess my point is that printers are cheap and I’ve been through a lot of them in my time.  It seems to be an accepted practice for manufacturers to use printers as the loss leader, stacking ‘em high and selling ‘em cheap, while they claw it all back on the lucrative aftermarket of over-priced ink supplies.

And that really gets my panties in a bunch.

Solve wasted heat and office greenery in one

From How to Geek:

I can’t exactly recall when the idea came to me, but at some point I started wanting to use the heat from a computer as a way to warm the soil and help with germination/growth.  I became hooked on the idea of using computer heat as a way to control the soil temperature of some sort of living plant life.

The result is a rather clever design that uses acrylic cylinders filled with soil to draw heat up to to the planter in the top of the case. Hit up the link below for a very detailed run down of the project including results from various temperature tests.

Most office workers have desktop PCs churning away all day every day (well, throughout the working week, anyway) which brings office temperatures to the high seventies by mid-afternoon.

Equally, most office workers (particularly solicitors it seems) like to be surrounded by greenery, plants and other nick-nacks better suited to a greenhouse. Personally, I’ve never seen the attraction with indoor plants; I couldn’t even get jazzed by growing cacti.

So, what could be better than a computer-mounted mini garden which uses heat generated from the PC to enhance growth?  Better than a Tupperware box full of seeds left to germinate on the office window sill, right?

And please: no comments on health and safety. If water leaks through causing the circuit to short and the thing goes up in flames, so be it. It’s a good metaphor for what’s happening to the planet if nothing else.

That’s why punctuation exists

Regular readers know that email is a constant (and painful) battle for me.  If you’ve forgotten, you might want to have a butchers at this and this.  I know everyone has gripes, but email gets on my proverbials in ways I can’t even describe.

My latest peeve relates to the following ‘punctuation-less’ email which I received recently. 

“Hi Mike* please see the attached would you leave them named as they are no need to put countersigned  thanks.”

* OMG – off to a VERY bad start. I simply cannot stand the name, ‘Mike’. (Seriously, it will bring on a bilious attack for me… and no one wants that).

Hmmm.  Believe it or not, they aren’t just random words.  They were meant to make sense; it’s just a pity they didn’t. 

Maybe I should focus on the positives – there was a full stop at the end.  But the fact remains I had to re-read this SEVERAL times (and ponder it overnight) before it made any sense to my email-frazzled brain. 

So, please, if you’re in the habit of sending emails such as this brarmer, here’s a bit of advice.  Just because it made sense to you when you typed it, don’t assume you can whack the send button without so much as a quick skim read.

Everyone always makes a big deal about brevity in emails.  If you’re in the ‘short and sweet’ crowd, that’s fine, but just remember you can’t cut out the punctuation and expect it still to make sense to the recipient.

So there you go: another lazy, sloppy email.  That’s this evening’s lesson over with, children.

Geeks and sexual harassment

Oh I can’t believe that a chap with a bowtie would have wandering hands when the ladies are around!

I thought the IT department would be free from sexual harassment claims at least. Clearly I was wrong.

But I think if I were the woman, I’d be more concerned about bringing an medical negligence claim against the surgeon who performed my botched tummy-tuck. Or maybe the cartoonist’s hand slipped.

Found here.

Google Chrome is now 2nd most popular browser

From Paul Thurrott’s WinInfo Short Takes of the week 02/12/11:

Google's Chrome has been on the market for only three years, but it has already surpassed Mozilla Firefox to become the number-two most-often-used web browser after Microsoft's Internet Explorer (IE). That's the word from the market researchers at StatCounter, at least, though it's only a matter of time before others who follow web-browser usage share report similar findings[.]

I jumped on the Chrome bandwagon at the end of 2008 and haven’t looked back. In 3 short years it’s got to the point where there are now hardly any people I know that *don’t* use Chrome. It’s the de facto standard browser at work and I live in Chrome every single day.

Firefox has turned into a bit of an also-ran (although they are at least fighting back a bit now) and IE has lurched from versions 7, 8 to 9, all promising the world and under-delivering each time. 

It’s been a long-standing joke that Internet Explorer is simply a one-time portal for users to download a real web browser.  That’s still true today, sadly, as How to Geek cheekily alludes to:

IE 9 is fine; it just isn’t anywhere near as great as Google Chrome. And that’s the problem.

Sinful Computer Keys

First there were the deadly sins, then….

Well, it kind of works, doesn’t it?

I’m not sure about the 'escape = sloth’ bit, and I’d have said that Control + T in a browser is more apt for gluttony.  (I’m am absolute glutton for tabs when I’m browsing).

Control + S is more reflective of obsessive compulsive disorder rather than pride, surely?

Control + C should should be cheat and Control + X should be home wrecker (or something like that…)

They all count as sins, right? 

Found here.

Solicitor ‘Glamour’ – Real & Virtual

 

I know, I know. Just as you thought Roll on Friday couldn’t sink any lower, they bring out this brarmer.

Virtual lawyers, law firms ‘in the cloud’ and holographic lawsuits all seem a bit 2008 these days. I remember Pinsent Masons established a virtual office in Second Life a few years ago for any potential clients who fancied bringing a claim way out there in the ether. They swiftly wound it up, however, after realising it wasn’t doing them an ounce of good and was possibly contraindicated in raising their profile in a meaningful way.

Still, the prospect of instructing a virtual lawyer still hits the spot according to this poll; nearly 75% of voters (whoever they are) would prefer lawyer Steven Wu in his virtual, ‘aspirational’ form than his natural self.

That’s disturbing.

So maybe there is hope for virtual law firms after all – (particularly if the fee earners consist of a tasty bunch of butch and buxom pieces of eye-candy with omnipotent legal brains).