The Michael philosophises
"Asking the lawyer for advice in respect of a problem, however small or ostensibly straightforward, is neither recommended nor ever simple.
Lawyers love to unnecessarily wrap issues up in complexity and obfuscation. This serves two purposes. Firstly, it helps them to present themselves as sophisticated, intelligent beings, capable of disentangling a solution from a bird's nest of a problem. This cloak of pretence and intricacy provides them with a platform on which to expand their rather under-developed and uninteresting personalities. Their high salaries allow them to afford the feckless frivolities in life that they invariably take delight in, thereby surrounding themselves with luxurious sundries to, at least for a short while, forget their own miserable existences in the vacuous wretchedness of their worthlessness.
Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, taking time to unravel particularly convoluted and troublesome issues -- which are invariably neither convoluted nor troublesome -- is vitally important to lawyers for another reason: they bill by the hour."