Why law schools should teach humility
Because otherwise they might churn out graduates capable off this type of nauseating display of pomposity.
I’m assuming it’s a law student in private accommodation. Please don’t tell me it’s a trainee solicitor!
The full, painful text is as follows:
My name is [blank] and I live in Flat [blank] on the [blank] floor of [blank]. As Saturday is St Andrew’s Day, I will be throwing a small party at my place to celebrate the day with friends. My guests are expected to arrive soon after 20:00 and leave before midnight. I will do my best to keep the noise levels down, but, as accommodating to everyone’s idea of what noise levels should be during a party is not always possible, I apologise in advance for any disruption that may be caused.
If any problem arises during that time (or if you think I should be kicked out of the block straight away), please do not hesitate to:
(a) Contact me directly on [blank] as I will do my best to solve it immediately.
(b) (i) As people expected to turn up are lawyers-to-be and trainee solicitors, I suggest you don’t try calling the police, since they probably know the law better than you.
(ii) If you are a lawyer, please refer to section (a) above.
Knowing many of you are going away for Christmas, I would also like to seize the opportunity and wish you a very Merry Christmas, full of love, family memories and understanding (noisy neighbours included).
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Seize the opportunity and wish them a merry Christmas? I bet the neighbours in question want to seize him or her by the neck! (Something tells me it was a male who wrote this – and probably a male with ‘small man syndrome’.)
The clincher for me, though, was the capitalised R in “Best Regards”.