Claimant hopes he is inching towards justice

From the Consumerist 10/01/11:

What with all that free healthcare and those easygoing natures up north in Canada, there's not much to get upset about. So why not sue over a penis enlarger to stir stuff up?

A Quebec man says that even though he used the penis enlarger in question for 500 hours total, it never worked. Imagine spending that much time with something that is doing absolutely nothing!

500 hours?! That’s dedication for you. But really – was there no (ahem) change whatsoever? 

If not, surely there was a point along the way before the claimant had amassed a whopping 500 hours of use that made him think, “maybe this isn’t working”.

He's going before small claims court, trying to get $762 in moral and punitive damages and to cover the cost of the tool [snicker snicker] in question, the $262 X4 Extender Deluxe Edition, says the Chronicle Herald.

At least he didn’t suffer any kind of injury or otherwise do himself a mischief stretching himself seven ways to Sunday!

I was going to produce some kind of spoof graphic for this post, but having stumbled across the manufacturer’s website, my reaction to their own banner was too good to omit.

stone the crows

Ouch!  That sounds horribly like spinal traction to me!!

With all those apparently wasted hours behind him, the man told a paper in Granby, Que., that he was speaking out so that other men wouldn't make the same mistake he had. A judge is expected to rule on the case in the next month and a half.

The story was posted on Consumerist back in early January, but after a quick search on Google, I’ve not been able to find any kind of update on the judgment. This case has really been inching along! Maybe the judge wanted to try the product for himself?

Be right back

Anyhoo, all of this excitement has reminded me of a hilarious moment late last year in one of TWiT podcasts I regularly listen to.  Here’s a snippet.

What started out as an innocent discussion about the form factor of tablets / slate PCs quickly degenerates into something much worse!


Oh yes–Cali’s a sceptical kinda girl!


  1. Michael,

    PLEASE tell me that the picture in your post is not ACTUALLY purported to be a Willy Stretcher?! It looks like an instrument that should be BANNED tantamount to a breach of Article 3 ECHR!!

    (PS : I could regale you with a number of interesting stories with regard to er, willies, when working as a nurse, but they would either serve only to make you a/wince b/faint or c/wince AND Faint)

  2. Does that box promise "4x" as in multiplying?

    There's something amazing about spending 500 solid hours on anything — that's almost three weeks. I can see why he wants his money back after that.

  3. Minxy - I'm rather afraid to say that the picture is indeed the willy stretcher you mention.

    And as far as your stories of todger trauma are concerned, I think I'd rather not hear them... else I'll never wear trousers with zip flies ever again! :-\

    Stephen - I suspect the manufacturer might claim the 4X was mere puff should any user try and argue he took it as meaning he'd gain 4 times his previous length (ahem).

    And yes, 500 hours is a massive investment. I wonder if he got anything else done while he was being stretched. If he'd lowered the ironing board from it's usual position slightly, he could have rested his tensioned todger on there and got some of the laundry pile out of the way whilst having a go at lengthening his manhood!

    I just hope he's accurate with the iron for his sake! ;-)


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