Coming to a Cinema Near You – Law Student 2
Inspired by one of my oddest keyword searches yet, “law student 2”, I quickly found a film idea emerging in my mind. After all, I don’t think there are enough violent action movies featuring law students. :D
A small group of law students with superhuman powers enrolled at law school in 2007 and formed an alliance. They were called by a mysterious voice and were drawn from the far reaches of the UK to form a team combining the best superhuman strengths that a fictitious law student could possess. (Think a grown-up version of Captain Planet’s helpers, just without the environmental stuff)!
During their first year they secretly upheld order and civility around campus using their mystical powers and superhuman strength. Known only as “the law students”, their identity was a closely guarded secret but could be relied upon to come to the aid of stricken law students. As well as porting answers to difficult questions via telepathy into the heads of students in seminars who hadn’t done the required preparation, they could also be found providing freshers with something to vomit into after yet another heavy night’s drinking in the student union.
Then disaster struck. During fresher’s week in 2008, “the law students” met their fiercest match yet in the form of an evil bunch of power-hungry fresher’s and were very nearly defeated in one of the most gruesome battles ever witnessed in a UK university during peacetime. (Think of the early scenes of ‘Demolition Man’ and you’re somewhere close to the carnage).
Most of “the law students” perished with one notable exception. A second year student known only as ‘Vontona’ somehow eluded a terrible death involving petrol bombs and a torture device resembling a high-voltage pair of hair straighteners. She was driven underground for a year during which time she re-grouped and plotted how best to avenge her fallen comrades.
Vontona’s secret weapons are her bionic limbs, quick wit, rocket launcher which fires statute-book-shells and her unparalleled knowledge of the Consumer Protection Act 1987.
And now she’s back, hell-bent on avenging the former members of “the law students”.
What the reviewers thought:
“Discard all prior perceptions of a UK law student” – the Observer
“It’s Nancy Drew meets the Terminator as a kind of vigilante crime fighter … on campus!” – ‘The Bizarre-Comparison-Maker’s Monthly.
“More shoot-‘em-up scenes than you can shake a statute book at” – The Law Gazette.
“If Arni was a student, even he might have met his match here” – The Cinema-Goer’s Weekly
“Holy Moly!!!” – The Student Bulletin
“Sweet Jesus – Hold on to your case books!” – The Young Lawyer Quarterly
I think I’ve got a real winner on my hands with this one! :-/