Sexting dos and don’ts (yep, they exist... apparently)

SextingFrom 09/06/11:

Obviously everyone knows what sexting is, but I would just like to explain it because I send these articles to my grandmother, and I don’t want to have to break down sexting to her face-to-face.

I don’t think anybody’s grandmother needs to know what sexting is. If she wants to swap X-rated polaroids with the rest of the church congregation that’s her business, but camera phones are just too much for the over 60s to cope with – particularly when there’s nakedness involved.

Basically, you take about a 100 pictures of your a*s in cute underwear and then one comes out good so you text it to a dude. ... The whole point of sexting is that as soon as the recipient gets it, they will speed over to your house for some hot sex.

As with any type of social exchange, there is a certain etiquette that needs to be followed.

Oh really?

For starters, don’t send a sext to someone who might not be down.

“not be down” ... I’ve no idea what this means.  I’m guessing it’s ‘up for it’ but I might be wrong.  Remember: I’m the chap who had to Google Andro’s use of the term “pwned” (something I still don’t fully understand) and, more recently, “fraped”.

If you want to test the waters, say something like, “do you like me? Y or N.” If they respond in a negative way, just pretend that you are drunk at a party and someone stole your phone.

Hold up: just because someone likes you, it doesn’t mean to say they want their phone polluted with an impromptu up-close-and-personal shot of your genitalia. That’s just not cricket.

When sending a picture, make sure it’s not trashy. I knew a kid whose ratty girlfriend sent him pictures of her [... you can read the rest of the this sentence over at ;-) It made me chuckle. ].

Really? Can sexting ever NOT be trashy? Isn’t that part of the appeal?

Sexting is a dangerous game sometimes, but it’s always worth it. You can’t expect to get d**k pics if you don’t send out some artsy shots of your boobs strategically covered with suds during a bubble bath photo shoot.

…said the contract law lecturer to his class, trying to find a modern day example of quid pro quo in action. 

Be right back


  1. I just don't understand the thought process that makes people stick their phone down their trousers but "d**k pics" in return for "artsy shots of your boobs strategically covered with suds during a bubble bath photo shoot" seems like an unequal exchange to me.

  2. hehe... that's a good point and I kind of wondered the same. I thought maybe the 'd**k pics' were partially (or pretty much totally) concealed, e.g. a down-the-trouser-shot without a camera flash in which case it might be more equal.

    I was feeling generous so gave them the benefit of the doubt! ;-)

  3. Loved the post. ;D

    You guys should see some of the photos I get from clients (which allegedly show the injuries... yeah right!) ;D

  4. Ooh, you lucky girl! ;-)

    Never let it be said that personal injury work isn't glamorous, eh? ;-)

  5. Loved your post Michael :)

    Psychologists say that men need pictures to get going, while women need words and sounds. Have no clue if that's true or not. I caught it one morning when I was off sick watching trashy daytime TV...

    Sexting in the workplace can give the unfortunate recipient of such 'sexts' a potential claim for sexual harassment. When I was working in employment law, there was this case that one of the lawyers was dealing with. A guy was sending his female colleague photos of his tattooed bits, from all angles. I was the unfortunate person who had to copy the photos for the trial bundle.

    Never not trashy. Very distasteful.

  6. Glad you liked it Sydney! :-) I've no idea about the validity of the psychologists' claims either. I wonder which gender finds smells most arousing.

    Answers on a postcode for that one I guess.

    Sounds like your workload is pretty interesting! ;-)


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