Taking the Biscuit

Hmm… haven’t we been here before?

flapjack injuriesFrom the Metro 25/03/13:

Flapjacks cut into triangles have been banned from a school after a pupil was hit in the eye with one during a food fight.

The bizarre health and safety ruling was imposed after a boy in Year 7 suffered a ‘sore eye’ when he was accidentally hit by the tasty snack which had been thrown by another student.

Dinner ladies at the Essex comprehensive school were told to cut flapjacks into squares or rectangles only – with three-sided versions deemed just too dangerous for children.

But square or rectangular flapjacks have 4 potential corners to gouge a child’s eye out. Surely that makes them more dangerous than triangular versions, not less?

Headteacher Gill Thomas reportedly slapped the ban on the pointy-shaped delicacies following the food fracas in the canteen last Wednesday.

The flapjack victim was patched up and sent home from Castle View School on Canvey Island but did not require hospital treatment.

[An ‘insider’ told the Sun newspaper] “[i]f they’re going to be extreme maybe they should insist on only round desserts”.

That’s just silly. A circular flapjack could still cause serious injuries if thrown Frisbee-style at an unwitting student. Clearly that ‘insider’ hadn’t thought it through appreciated the gravity of the risks involved here.

A safer plan would be to require dinner ladies school mealtime assistance operatives to grind the flapjacks down to granola like crumbs which can’t be turned into dangerous projectiles. Then again, what if the granola is pressed into service as canteen based shrapnel?

Best stick to jelly and ice cream, I say.

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