Paintballing and popping jahooblies

Yep – it’s all going on down in Croydon!

breast implant compensation claimsFrom the Metro 24/08/11:

Female adrenaline junkies with breast implants are being offered extra protection at a paintball centre in Croydon.

The move comes after a 26-year-old woman, who declined to be named, suffered a ruptured implant after being shot in the chest at the UK Paintball centre last weekend.


'It came as a real surprise to hear that a woman had her implant burst at one of our centres’.

Additional padding will now be offered to all female participants with breast implants in a bid to make sure something similar does not occur again.

I don’t imagine there’ll be a shortage of willing male attendants to pad these ladies up and make sure everything’s nicely in place. (As it were).

Actually, I’m sort of surprised that additional padding wasn’t available for ladies anyway. I always thought ‘aim for the chest’ was a golden rule and, well, y’know – that’s gotta hurt!

Be right back

The incident, thought to be the first of its kind in the UK, has also prompted the centre to add a new line to its disclaimer notice.

Ah… here we go!  If you’re running a paintball centre and breast implants are going to start exploding every which way like a bag full of popcorn in the microwave, it’s definitely time to consult your lawyer to see what prudent steps can be taken against those fake-boobed ladies with a litigious streak.

Participants are now required to indicate that they understand paintballs have the potential to rupture breast implants, as well as recognising the possibility of injury during the activity, which is favoured by stag and hen parties.

Sounds about right; from what I’ve heard, the typical stag and hen party absolutely favour the possibility of injuries. 

Eye rolling smile

But really? Paintball injury claims? Stag and Hen party injury claims? What are personal injury solicitors going to be salivating over next?


  1. Joseph the Lawyer6 September 2011 at 09:02

    It surprises me that the story is from the UK. I can see the litigious nature of our society needing this, but I guess we are too prudish to cross over into this type of protection. Great article.

  2. So to request the extra padding, you'd have to declare to the staff that your boobs are fake? Great ;D

  3. Interesting... I'd not thought of it that way before. :-0

    I wonder what the position is for a chap with a moob enhancement (or whatever they're called)?


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