Wacky Keywords – May 2010 – Part 1
Anyway, let’s get straight to it:
"competent person" AND highway AND "New York" - You’ll be lucky! Have you seen how those guys drive?
“llm learning torrent” - So let me get this straight: you want to download your postgrad degree in law from a bit torrent site?
“slipped on grape at work but my soliciator says I wont win claim. help” - Those damn ‘soliciators’, eh? :p
“porn industry compensation claims” - wow... my mind is already racing as to what kind of injury might have been involved! ;-)
“can a single mum do llb” - of course! Be advised though that breastfeeding in seminars is generally frowned upon!
“toilet seats that are not meant to remove” - isn’t that usually the idea. Actually, you’ve given me another invention idea there - portable toilet seats!
“do the astronaut wear seat belt to sit on the toilet?” - Oh, bless your heart for asking! Yes, otherwise... well, I’ll let your mind fill in the blanks.
“personal injury on works outing uk” - I bet the boss of that firm wishes he’d never bothered now!
“Best way to use dictaphones for a law office” - hold near to mouth, press record and speak clearly. Do you need a demonstration? :p
“meaningful tattoos for women about loss” - doesn’t every tattoo necessarily signify a loss of the person’s dignity? (particularly the tramp stamp!!)
“Despite laws that require you to wear seat belt , many people don't not wear them” - what’s this... state the obvious hour? :p
“how do i make my business legal uk” - stop selling class A drugs.
“primark push up 8 year old” - what’s this? Some kind of junior athletic challenge held in store?
“dictaphone spare parts” - most dictaphone users tend to be spare parts in my experience. :p
“what's wrong with retail” - what’s right with it?
“weird british birthday laws” - birthday bumps can only legally be given during a leap year. s78(1)(c) of the Annual Acclamation, Commemoration and Celebrations Act 1924 ;-)
“stockroom nazi” - I think I worked with one in my summer job a few years ago.
“etiquette for law students” – Rule number 1: No farting in lectures. And ladies, a pre-emptive squirt of your bodyspray, and then coughing whilst rustling papers to cover the dastardly deed doesn’t completely mask it! Also, chaps, always hold the door for a lady! Does not apply to ladettes, though. In that situation, you’re safe to let it swing shut in her face! ;-)
“law can't revise topics more than once” – I can see why that might prove to be a problem!
“the dirt man take of the skirt in the street” - sounds like a coded message to me.
“pillow throw law graduate” - all law grads love a pillow fight!
“employment law invading my personal space” - That module can get a bit much, can’t it? Still, try not to become paranoid would be my advice.
“im doing an LLM Criminal Law” – Seriously? Why would you punch that statement into Google?
“I burned up - literally” - Well, it has been hot recently.
“HOW TO REVISE FOR AN EMPLOYMENT LAW BUSINESS EXAM” - you can judge from the use of capitals that this visitor was bordering on a first degree panic attack.
“law student eligible for jury service?” A painful yes, I’m afraid. See my monumental boob!
“failure llb” – Oh come on: think positively!
“laws on doing up a moped” – One word: Don’t!! You’ll look ridiculous, buzzing along with the noise of a backfiring 747 when you’re managing a whole 8 mph! Seriously, every car driver in the vicinity is pi*sing their pants watching you tootle along.
Stick around for part 2 folks. There’s plenty more keyword gold I’ve kept back! :-)