Fun with the search terms

law actually - fun with the search termsI don’t know if it’s just Law Actually, but my visitors seem to have gotten an awful lot dirtier recently. Some of the search terms they’ve punched into Google would make a whore blush, never mind their mothers. 

Other terms they’ve used are frankly just disturbing.  I don’t want to repeat any of them here, not only because I don’t want to lower the tone any more than I usually do (I know - amazing isn’t it?) but also because doing so will only push me further up the rankings for those dirty phrases, exacerbating the problem.

Anyway, here’s the latest batch of wacky search terms: 

“baywatch shauni monobrow” - Oh come on - it was the 80s.  Hairy was in, right?

“setting up a new personal injury firm” - oh God, not another one.

“Behind on prostitutes” - someone who searched for this and visited law actually 7 times in rapid succession.  Just how behind was he?  ;-)

“knocked over listening to iPod bruise can i claim” - nope, you brought it on yourself!  :p

“LOVE BITES AND THE LAW” – Good book title there.

“i have been given the statutes for the law exam don't know how to revise” - I’d have said it was a bit late for you if you’re approaching the exams with that kind of question.

“accent at work that wasn't your fault” - I know, it was your damn parents, huh?

“dinner lady injured compensation” – Oh, don’t tell me: you got a Petits Filous  in the eye - courtesy of an over-excited child?

“HOW CAN I GET CHEAPEST LLB DEGREE IN UK” - Oh honestly... we’ll be getting LLB comparison sites next!  :p  (p.s. I really love the caps - you can sense the desperation there).

“best surefire ways to get approved for disability for a back injury at work” - I smell a benefits cheat.

“unfair dismissal vomited over IT equipment” - urrgh, eeewwww!

“good uk law blog” - A Chinese visitor (well, they searched via the Chinese version of Google) from the University of Warwick.  All I can say is that yay, you found law actually... but boo, you stayed for 0 seconds.

“you can't relax in the law” – Very true; my day is a veritable minefield of panic attacks.

“What is the labber law about labber law?”  ???

“I need to revise lots of law for exams” – Yep. But what do you expect Google to do about it?

“what do lawyers write with? pen?” - Well, yes, funnily enough, often times they do.

“pupelage portal” - The ISP was identified as “Oxford University”.  Oh dear... I knew standards were falling, but even so...   ;-)

“idiots guide to pupillagae portal applications” - hehe - I love it. I bet you didn’t expect to find this!

“hate my courses llm” – Just quit then. The label of ‘law school drop-out’ isn’t so bad!

“don't let your husband see you naked” - oh, come on ladies: what kind of attitude is that?  ;-)

“graduation anticlimax” - To the visitor from the University of Sheffield, chin up.  You’ll get over it.  (Given time).

“android sex doll 2011” - wow.  hehe, I wonder if the visitor had ‘rooted’ it? 


  1. “accent at work that wasn't your fault” - priceless!!!

  2. hahaha. I'd say it definitely just you. I've had some funny/interesting search terms, but nothing like this!

  3. As well as legal stuff I've also got a blog about coffee shops in the UK. One of them, called "Nude Espresso", I gave "top notch" status... some poor soul stumbled across this with the search term "top notch nudes".

  4. Android - I know, that one is a corker!

    LGL - hehe.. I always seem to bring out the worst in internet users when they are searching for things online!!

    Tom - maybe the baristas were happy serving coffee naked... that might keep your visitor happy?

  5. "i have been given the statutes for the law exam don't know how to revise”

    I'm jealous, we had to buy statute books.

  6. Ah, even tho' blogger has finally sorted out the hissy fit that it threw earlier today, earlier comments to this post have disappeared.

    Blogger - I hate you sometimes! :-(


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