The Ultimate Pupillage Portal Guide


Pupillage Portal for CretinsSick of those Pupillage Portal applications?  Tired of trying to snare that elusive pupillage, only too aware that you’re surrounded by countless others in the same boat, all poised to pounce on the same opportunity?  Yes, it’s that time of year again: BVC-ers past and present have all joined the pupillage race, and have flocked to the Pupillage Portal in droves to submit those precious applications.  Fortuitously, help is at hand with the the brand new book, The Pupillage Portal for Cretins – which Law Actually is proud to endorse.

Penned by long-time ‘rejectee’ Carly ‘the chancer’ Collins, the book leads the reader on a helter skelter tour of how to play the portal to your advantage, whack in ‘crazy good’ pupillage applications and otherwise help you keep your head while all around you other would-be barristers are losing theirs.

It provides a no-nonsense guide to Pupillage Portal best practice which should stand any pupillage-seeker in good stead when going about those dreaded applications. It tells the applicant how, what and when to click, with additional computer mouse exercises for those who aren’t ‘natural mousers’.  What’s more, it comes with helpful pointers on exactly what chambers are looking for in candidates and a chapter dedicated to never-seen-before secrets of what’s really necessary to gain a pupillage. 

The later chapters are jam-packed with interview techniques and a sure-fire list of how to flirt, lie and possibly kill beg your way into a pupillage – should you get that far.

What everyone’s saying:

“Long overdue” – Lawyers of Tomorrow

“If you’re looking to maximise your negligible chances of gaining a pupillage, this book gives you the competitive edge you’ll need to out-compete your peers”, immoral BVC tutor, receiving a cut of the book’s sales.

“It’s like a personal trainer for pup-port apps”, Abigail, 23, fond of shortening words.

“It’s high time such a book hit the bookstores” – God knows.

“Lovely stuff” – Shakin’ Stevens

“This book’s perfect for the IT-adverse, the mindless chancers out there and all of the other hopefuls who have suffered too much past rejection and have just plain-run-out-of –ideas.”  - The Modern Barrister.

At just £14.99, can you afford NOT to buy a copy of The Pupillage Portal for Cretins today?  pupillage portal availability

Buy The Pupillage Portal for Cretins and get a FREE BAR* of choc-actually – the perfect treat to get you through those mind-numbing applications!!

It’s the chocolate for the Pupillage Portal season.

choc actually  - chocolate for lawyers

*While stocks last.



  1. Can I get a signed copy, Michael? ;D

  2. No worries.... I'm sure I can get 'Carly' to sign one! ;-)

  3. Shame on you Michael - leading people to believe that they might actually have a o.ooooo2% chance

  4. LOL - good point, Travis! :-)

  5. My Dear TT,

    I do hope you realise that your estimation of a 0.000000002% chance of successful application is, in fact, overly optimistic!!

  6. This was pretty funny, except I feel really silly for having to ask- what's a pupillage? Wow, I feel so lame now.

  7. It's this =>


  8. Minxy, not my figure I'm quoting michael here.

  9. who needs a pupillage when one can set up their own Chambers


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