Poole’s Christmas Tree / Astroturf Cone

From the Times 27/11/09:

Shoppers stared in bemusement at the mysterious object that landed in a shopping precinct in Poole, Dorset, this week. Some compared it to a giant traffic cone, a witch’s hat or a cheap special effect from an early episode of Doctor Who.

The 33ft structure turned out to be their Christmas tree, designed according to the principles of health and safety, circa 2009.

Thus it has no trunk so it won’t blow over, no branches to break off and land on someone’s head, no pine needles to poke a passer-by in the eye, no decorations for drunken teenagers to steal and no angel, presumably because it would need a dangerously long ladder to place it at the top.

Last year Poole boasted a Norwegian fir draped with strings of coloured lights. It cost £500 and continued a decades-old tradition. The replacement, which is constructed on a metal frame overlaid with what appears to be artificial grass, cost £14,000 and comes with built-in fairy lights and hidden speakers to play Christmas tunes that will put shoppers in the festive mood. But the only mood apparent among shoppers who saw the tree yesterday was a bad one.

Christmas astroturf coneSeriously? This just looks terrible and at a cost of £14K, this pathetic excuse for a Christmas tree is probably worse than no Christmas tree at all. Maybe it’s just me but shouldn’t the fact that this ‘tree’ lacks branches, pine needles, decorations and  and angel on top be regarded as a bad thing?

It just looks like a cone of Astroturf pointing towards the sky. I don’t know why they bothered.


  1. I agree!! What the hell is that? It's like a normal tree gone wrong!

  2. We are in the wrong business Michael. Should have gone into making Xmas trees out of old pub carpets - £14k, £14k!!

  3. Yeah, good point BM. At £14K a go, we can't afford to miss out on this!!

  4. There were a spate of thefts this year / last year of statues because of the rising price of copper. Does this cone mean we'll start seeing strips of indoor tennis court going missing?

  5. Definitely! Interestingly enough, I read yesterday that despite claims that one of the cone's features was a lower tendency to be vandalised compared with conventional trees, vandals nonetheless had a field day with it.

    Because of that, coupled with the unanimity in respect of just how plain awful the cone looks, it's being scrapped and a conventional Christmas tree will be installed in Poole.

    Turned out to be a pretty expensive and entirely unsuccessful experiment in other words!

  6. Minneapolis DUI lawer9 December 2009 at 17:20

    This is the saddest looking tree I have ever seen! Can they even decorate it?!


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