Coming to all good confectioners...
As Donald Trump might say, 'The confectionary industry... it's a big business. And I want a slice of it ... (or should that be square?)
Introducing a new range of dreamy, creamy chocolate - designed particularly for a lawyer's vices. Legal professionals, students and graduates up and down the UK are discovering the revolutionary pleasure sensation that is Choc-Actually. Made with 78% cocoa, it's sure to deliver 200% pleasure. With a patented ultra-quiet foil wrapping, it won't give the lawyer with a craving away. Choc-Actually so sensually satisfying, it never stops at one bar...
Be sure to get your bar of Choc-Actually today, available at all good confectioners.
Choc-Actually... Yes it's chocolate. No actually - really!
What people / obscure publications are saying:
"Just what I needed to get through that deposition", Adrian, 42, slightly bored divorce lawyer.
"God that's good chocolate", 'Nicky', 24, trainee with a magic circle firm.
"I never really thought of chocolate this way before", Susan, 42, legal secretary from Hull.
The Chocolate-Box Review: "It's pure, unadulterated stimuli for the pleasure senses"
Generic Trashy Mag: "Yes, oh Yesssss!!!"
Guilty Pleasures in Chocolate: "it's instant gratification for lawyers - lucky them!".
"Oooh - it set my senses a-tingle", Rosie, 19, Law Student (quite the little madam).
Cocoa-Today: "Takes chocolate to a whole new level.... It's time to reconceptualise the chocolate experience ... [it's] sheer brilliance in a wrapper."
"This much pleasure can't be legal, surely?" - Justice of the Peace from Croydon.
"I just can't get enough, I can't", - Jamie, 25, Licensed Conveyancer from Cardiff.
Another trashy magazine ran with the story, "Legal secretary in shock-sensation ... caught chomping on senior partner's bar".
"You'll want a stock for your desk drawer", - Addictive Lawyers' Bulletin
"Cah-ching: It hits the spot, baby", - Loose Lawyer's Weekly.
"It's crazy, everybody seems to have a bar in lectures, seminars", and “My lecturer imposes a 10 minute chocolate break during lectures now... it's the pick-me-up we all need - particularly in land law!” say generic students from new university.
"It's utterly choc-tacular" - The Enthused Observationist.
Confessions from a mid-life crisis: "My secretary's always trying to get her hands on mine..."
"It's quick and satisfying under-desk pleasure", says anonymous (and slightly desperate) paralegal, 22 from Rotherham. "Thank God for that ultra quiet wrapping!"
"Not to be enjoyed judiciously - wow... they got that right", Anon.
"It delivers an instant high for needy law students" says student rep from undisclosed London university.
"Be prepared for ultimate pleasure-addiction", Anon.
"You'll certainly go off on a frolic of your own... who knew chocolate could be this satisfying", says High Court judge from 'the home counties'.
The Modern Barrister: "This is no ordinary chocolate bar - it's more like chocolate for the bar".
“Seriously Goood!! .... the client certainly wasn't getting my full attention. But I don't feel guilty - after all, I'm a lawyer - I've done far worse! ;-)”, Rebecca, 27, solicitor with a craving.