What kind of reviser / studier are you?

It’s revision / study season and in recognition of the agony students are currently going through, here’s my latest version of ‘what kind of ... are you’.

I think this will be something all of us in the blawgosphere can relate to, though perhaps we should keep the fact we exhibit behaviour falling into some of the less desirable categories to ourselves.  ;-)

What it really means

We Say



The Crammer

You know you should have found that motivation to start revision before now but, you know.... things... kinda.. came up.

(hmm.. they always do, don’t they?)

If you do well in the exam(s), you won’t have deserved it.

And you know, deep down, that’s true. ;-)

A bit more dedication next time / learning from past mistakes, eh?

Despite what you’ve told yourself all these years, you don’t actually work better under intense pressure.

The Self-Righteous ‘Low Voltage’ Student

You’re as cool as they come and, guess what, you haven’t even done 10 minutes of revision.

Oh really?

We all know you’re actually bricking it / have been studying like a neurotic beaver* for the past 6 weeks - or both.

Counselling / drowning yourself

No one likes a clever dick*

The Sunshine Student

You’re a narcissistic, sun-worshipping
a-hole, sat on the grass around campus ‘revising’... we all know you’re really ogling students of the opposite sex.

We hope you sit on a thistle, get badly sunburnt and stung by a wasp.

Sitting at your desk once in a while. Just face it, sitting outside ‘starring’ at a page is about as useful as peeing in the wind.

Revision shouldn’t be enjoyable

The Couch Potato

You’re as lazy as sin and you couldn’t care less.

God bless you

Getting off your fat ass once in a while.

Do you want to be stuck in an endless cycle of re-takes, only to be ultimately failed and given a ‘diploma’ instead of a degree?

The I-need-my-daily-dose-of-Prozac

You’re a hyperactive freakoid buzzing in and out of your revision notes (and around your increasingly frustrated peers) like a demented gnat. 

Try and get a handle on things.. you’re bringing everyone down with your negative energy.

Staying off the coca cola and candy.

Everything in moderation remember. Wait! That shouldn’t apply to revision!

The Serial Retaker

“This time is the final practice run... no, for real this time.” Don’t tell me, you’ll really, really study hard for the retakes?! :p

You’re f*cked

Doing everyone a favour and drop the hell out

You’re just not cut out for Uni... better accept it now than later.

The Steady Eddie

You’re not exactly going for pole position, but you’re hopefully on course for a ‘desmond’ (2:2) if you hook everything up...

Turning the wick up... relying on a few post it notes stuck on walls at this level just doesn’t cut it!

Pulling your freaking finger out!

Because who wants to be relegated to the ‘also rans’?!?

The Slut

You’ve flirted your way through classes this far and have suddenly been left in a panic realising you might have to actually do some work to pass your exams.

No, writing the examiner a seductive note at the end of your script, offering sexual favours isn’t going to get you a first class degree.

Wearing a longer skirt and/or less revealing top and do some God damn work.

Because your ultra short skirt and pert, bouncing jahooblies are lovely and all that, but flashing your goods at the lecturer just won’t cut it any longer.

The I’m planning to cheat in the exam

You’ve spent the study season cramming every spare inch of your casebook(s) with study notes / devised some other (more fraudulent) plan.

We know, you’re just playing the system to your advantage / outright cheating :p

Playing fair for once in your cheatin’ life

You’ll only cheat yourself in the long run... yadda, yadda, yadda... but seriously, what if you’re caught?! :-/

*And please, no sniggering at the words ‘beaver’ or ‘dick’. :p


  1. Im a crammer - I think everyone crams for revision

  2. Michael - Jahooblies, seriously how do you think these words up?!

  3. I've got a particularly vivid and rich mind when it comes to these matters! :p

    hehe...but seriously, it's not 'my' word... I thought it was a widely accepted term? :-)

    And you love it really!! ;-)

  4. hmm now I am definitely a crammer desperately trying not be and failing. Thanks for the post, was a great read.

  5. Thanks, MLS! At least someone appreciated it! ;-)

    Great to see you're still with us in the blawgosphere, btw :-) ... we've not heard a peep out of you for a while!

  6. I'm a Chronic Crammer, no doubt about it. I simply CANNOT make myself sit down to revise before starting to panic, its such a vicious circle, that goes someting like:
    Need to revise-looks at mountain of notes-doesnt know where to start-tries-fails-needs to revise.... LAWKS, coupled the fact that I am a procrastinator who has raised the tendancy to an ART form, its small wonder ANYTHING gets done at all!!!
    Ps: Word Capture - PRODDY - is that a hint I should start working again?!?!?

  7. Bless you for your honesty, travis! ;-)

  8. I'm sure you're more organised than you make out, Minxy!! ;-)

  9. Richard Hammond was doing book signings in the park when I had LPC exams - I know you won't agree Michael, but I'm sure the girls will understand! :P

  10. Well said about the sunshine students. You just cannot possibly revise that way!

    I can't really place myself to any of these categories. I'm probably a mixture of the crammer/self-righteous and the couch potato. I also remember being depressed during the revision period. Thank God those days are over for me!!!

  11. I note that you have omitted 'dedicated/ highly organised person that studies hard and proper'. I just want to shoot those robots in the face don't you? If I could go back to LLB exams, I think that I would have treated them like I would a sport- i.e. train early, train hard, eat right and remain disciplined at all times. I just let the time run and tried to cram by using those crappy (really awful they were) Q&A books. There really should be a warning on those books (i.e. the questions and answers in this book are designed to completely mislead you as to what might come up in the actual exams). I miraculously got a desmond (despite being a first class candidate for coursework and exams that i 'did' revise properly for) but sadly my degree is something that holds me back, as opposed to something that should help u out. Let that be a lesson to you kids- I sure learnt a lot. I was addicted tot he thrill of the last minute, but then got paranoid thinking I didn't have time and it was a vicious circle from there. Anyway, I better go cram for tomorrow morning's presentation...Google: how to create an impression that you are well prepared when you have pulled an all-nighter


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